Living on the edge

Well, alot! Few days ago I read an article that said ‘Lots in a Name’ and how Japanese new Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba was elected not because of slowing economy or threats from neighbours but because of Japan’s marital law that allowed women to chose their own surname. In a developed country like Japan, a law like this, for a right that seems so inherent, does sound astonishing. And it reminded me of my own experience.   I still use the name that my school certificate carries and my marriage never obliged me to change the same. I have always felt the discomfort in changing my name as if someone would snatch away the very identity that I had carried right from birth. Nor did any situation force me to change or adopt otherwise. However I have seen many educated, highly qualified women changing their surnames in my own fraternity and it always made me utterly uncomfortable. Can changing one’s identity and legacy be a trend? Can being included in someone else’s identity give us a...

My mother was first diagnosed with breast cancer, stage 2 in 2017, just few days before I appeared for my first UPSC CSE interview. I remember she coming to Delhi and being with me as a support system for my UPSC journey. I couldn’t have managed clearing exam without her. Now when I think of it, she was living with the disease since then. Immediately after the interview, I rushed back home. Her treatment was being done under the able hands of Mr Pathak, in Nagpur. We would travel every week to Nagpur for her follow ups, her chemotherapy and radiotherapy sessions. The whole process lasted more than 3 months. Considering we lived in the remotest corner of our district, it would take us more than 4 hrs of one way journey to Nagpur. Driving our way through potholed roads. She was (and still is )so brave and positive during the entire period, that it still amuses me as to how she breaks stereotypes so easily. Since then we regularly carry out her check ups and any signs of relapse. There ...

When I was out on various field ventures, one thing was rather palpable and was crying out loud- how my fellow males owned every public space? The roadside tea shop served tea to a bunch of workers who invariably were male and it is only this counterpart that would stay back with their other male colleague and have a chat of their own. The gathering under a peepal tree in a village had elder male members only. The hotel spaces, the government offices, banks are mostly filled with men in our families who embark upon journeys to fulfil their destiny. The extensive sport grounds of cities hosted mostly young male crowd playing cricket or football. And my recent experience of my office reflects of visitors mostly being male, of being the only women officer most of the times in a room filled with male counterparts. How does one address gender equality then?   We have always lived In a world where visibility mattered. As human being we are social, believing in great civilisations...

 What goes through the mind of a person who has recently been victimized or felt so? Is she afraid? Is she helpless? If yes, then of what? Does she feel anger or does she feel satisfied as she has fought whatever she could fight? But is it merely about resolving the issue amicably or does it go beyond that to bring an attitudinal change? A change she expected through education, through the sheer exam she had attempted and cleared. This is the least she could expect considering the outside was much uglier. And she knew the inside would be no different. But the fundamentals were very clear and those here had the opportunity, a golden one, to be the best version of them.  But why does she live in an ideal world? She should know, time and again, through her experiences that theory and reality are two different things. Alright!! I understand that they are two different things indeed but shouldn’t we be at least moving in that direction. To expect not so sickening attitude fr...

A few days ago I came across something really wonderful! something that reminded me how fulfilling reading was! It said and I quote        “if there is a single skill that will get you through life above all others - more important than cleverness or passion or imagination - it is the resilience. Without it even the most brilliant person can be crushed.         And no one can develop resilience in vacuum. You have to fail in order to learn how to recover from failure.”  UPSC is a journey that will churn us in understanding this truth, through a personalised experience. Each finding her/his own path to discovery. Civil Service Exam(CSE)’18 brought me huge success. Securing an AIR 33 was not unthinkable but definitely uncertain. It is through these probabilities that when one sails during the process, does one realise the true worth of life and mind you, brings the much needed grounding, humility and respect for surround...

We live in a society where your identity is based on region you come from, caste you belong and gender you are born in. It is a society which perceives and sustains relationships on the basis of status and prestige. It is here that are stories are made, created, rebuild, broken and yet carried on!     I had long been contemplating to write on people but it was so damn difficult to not just understand emotions but also to pen it down in words. No words felt right. I wrote and rewrote and yet nothing worked. That's how surmounting it was! We might want to be unbiased and non-judgmental but that never is the case. We preach one thing and follow the other. We think we do our best! But what is enough and what is the best is defined at our convenience. Thus this story is perhaps no ordinary to tell. To talk of a person who had so many facets and shone so brightly will take more than just one article. Ananth Kumar itself signifies boundless, the one with no end. He was born with a...

When I was in the first year of law school, one of my friends criticized reservations so starkly that it made me feel uncomfortable to have any further discussions with her on the topic of reservations, to such an extent that I blatantly accepted what she had to say about the issue altogether. Privileged as she was not only socially (belonging to an upper caste) but also economically. Her discontent and anger was on reservations snatching away the seats of well-deserved candidates. I think after that I never took much efforts to analyze my own thoughts about reservation. Several years have passed by but the reservation issue still lingers in my head and surfaces quite occasionally in my day-to-day life. So what are reservations? Why is it always the most controversial issue? Why do most political parties fear to even touch upon this topic even while utilizing this issue to fatten their vote banks? And why are Patels in Gujarat seeking for reservation for their community? A community t...

Once upon a time there a lived an Emperor who ruled a vast stretch of territory of the great Ganges. One day on of his ministers advised him why doesn’t he consider making this great territory a land of Dar al-Islam? Wipe out all those who do not wish to embrace Islam! To this the Emperor replied “Only a foolish ruler in India would dare such a thing.” No wonder the Great Mughals ruled this country longer than any foreign rule could. India has since the time immemorial been the land of diversity. Be it in terms of nature, culture, people ideas, food and the like. Its tolerance is reflected by the way of life it has professed over centuries. What astonishes me is the current debate in meat ban (previously beef ban). Earlier when I was interning at TISS, I had closely observed students fight for including beef in their college mess. In the end unfortunately the matter took an ugly and disturbing turn. Well I agree that preferences should be given to the culinary practic...

How should one respond to the increasing number of people on our planet? Specifically in our country! A question that has haunted us for decades after independence, creating complex societies with innumerable problems, a vicious cycle that has trapped our development for generations. We have constantly nagged about its perils. For a change let us try seeing the positive side of it. Governments today call it demographic dividend which tells us about how population is distributed over different age groups. Census report of 2011 gives a very exhaustive picture of population which is around 1.2 billion spread over 2.4% of earth’s area. However it also tells us another story, the story which has the potential to transform this country into a nation filled with hopes and desires. The report also tells us that 50% of our population is under the age 25 years. It won’t be wrong to call India as a young nation in comparison with the rest of the world. US will have around 25%, Jap...

While I walked the streets of Delhi on the smoky night of Diwali, I rediscovered India. That part of the country of which I am not very proud of. While the toxins rushed through my veins, I struggled to breathe. People jumped on the streets with their rockets and new variety crackers. Plunging and flashing.  My fellow aspirants took this as an opportunity to vent their frustration. The streets were dimly lit with colorful lights and I was depressed. Not because I wasn’t celebrating the festival the usual way but because in a charged environment where “intolerance” had taken such sensational and political turn, here it seemed to define new dimensions. I decided I would confront those families and request them if they would ‘maybe’ minimize their budget on crackers. I was too naïve to expect anything in return, I was told to get lost to where I came from. As a so-called outsider in the capital I had committed the eternal sin of trespassing a Delhite...

Living in a patriarchal society paves way for tales that go unheard, of stories lost in the four walls of concrete houses, of opinions that seldom matter. The privileged few of us, belonging to the female fraternity, have struggled our way up, by empowering ourselves in ways that was thought to be unachievable. Perhaps for the very same reason the struggle seems all worth it. The idea of contentment emerges and leads us to believe that yes we have done it! But what happens to those for whom the windows of opportunities are closed forever and the doors of expression are only symbolic? Do such circumstances harness belief and hope of future contentment in these women or does it shatter their strength to move ahead and face these adversities? are these women  victims or fighters? Are they the mute spectators of misogyny camouflaged as ideal  bahus  and  betis  or are the women who are on a daily basis breaking barriers and entrenched stereotyp...

When I faced civil service interview in 2017, I was asked to give suggestions as to how would I see women workforce participation improve in our economy? What immediate and long term actions would help add our other half to the larger productivity of our country? My answer was very much direct and clichéd as I see it now. I could have pondered a bit as to what exactly the board wanted from me. I could have paused and reflected that the fact there was only one lady board member in my interview panel mirrored so much of the society I live in. the fact that it needs rules framed by male centric bureaucracy to enforce such necessary actions is in itself a mockery of how we see gender equality. Also the varied and insensitive experiences I had during my mock interviews showed the sickening male misogyny that surrounds me right from male dominance to implicit sexual harassment from stalking, staring to asking favors from various female candidates. For this, I had hinted and brought some i...