A Conversation

 What goes through the mind of a person who has recently been victimized or felt so? Is she afraid? Is she helpless? If yes, then of what? Does she feel anger or does she feel satisfied as she has fought whatever she could fight? But is it merely about resolving the issue amicably or does it go beyond that to bring an attitudinal change? A change she expected through education, through the sheer exam she had attempted and cleared. This is the least she could expect considering the outside was much uglier. And she knew the inside would be no different. But the fundamentals were very clear and those here had the opportunity, a golden one, to be the best version of them.

 But why does she live in an ideal world? She should know, time and again, through her experiences that theory and reality are two different things. Alright!! I understand that they are two different things indeed but shouldn’t we be at least moving in that direction. To expect not so sickening attitude from those who stand in powerful positions, to expect them to grasp reality and bring about a change, are indeed high expectations? They are definitely seen to be becoming the wolves that prey upon anybody in sight/who appear to them in a position of vulnerability. But why will they not and why should they not? Just because an ideal world expects them to be nice and respectful to human rights, doesn’t mean they shatter their own privileges. Or Is it because they only enjoy these privilege of society that they tend to behave in this manner or is it because they know that no harm will come to them? What is the reason of this impunity? Answers could be multiple.

 But why be so saintly, it is also human to expose someone she feels deserved to be exposed for the sake of exposure? But exposure of what? And who gets to decide the audience? Her?? But what is the objectivity she follows in making any decision in that regards? Should she at all follow that objectivity? At last she’s a victim and should she not have the right to choose subjectively? In a world, where our definitions of sensitivity and morals are a matter of convenience, why should she fall in line with this hypocrisy? Does she believe that she will win the battle she initiated? And even if she fought the battle, did she really win one? She would question to herself? The answer is always in negative.

 For those who claim to apologize and say are extremely guilty, do it because for them there’s no way out but to give an easy apology. It is a weapon to defend themselves and absolve of all wrongdoing without much remorse. It is a cowardly act to create a narrative, a counter narrative to show the world, the society and to those who surround them that it was no fault at all rather it is a matter of perception. And alas! For those who believe in such creatures carry an equally sad degree of acceptance and encouragement. This is not to say that all those who apologize have never felt any remorse. But exceptions are not the rules right?!

 The following is one such conversation she undergoes while facing the dilemmas, the innuendos. She wants to perhaps derive a motivation to fight on. She is equally vulnerable even though strong and capable to handle. But it is not the person she’s fighting rather it is the sick ideology and that’s why the battles have to have their own course, away from personal gains.

 “Her: what does it take to fight injustice and prejudices, sick and retarded mindset in the world?

Friend: why such a sudden question? Has anything happened?

Her: It’s sudden because I have been experiencing deep misogyny. So I thought why not ask you? It gets exhausting to fight all the time. And sometimes you need to derive motivation from wherever possible!

Friend: Damn!! Misogyny is not to be tolerated. The suddenness is justified! Prejudice and sick, retarded mindset you say?

Her: Yes! What can you call it if the person still carries a veil of ignorance? They had the opportunity to be all that is good, to shed and to evolve, to open up and question! Yet they don’t!! Because power is an attractive weapon to let it slip from your hand, one is scared of losing all privileges. That is the reason they bring down the other in a manner that is purely shrewd. They think they won’t be exposed, because the society gives them the impunity to walk freely.

Friend: I would start with understanding the roots of the mindset. But at the same time I would ask the person right away that ‘if I Present you plausible arguments,, evidences and clear reasons to show you that you are wrong, will it change your way of thinking?’ If the person is taken aback and refuses- then it is a waste of time for anyone to convince such an insular soul.

Her: And yet after giving repeated signals of denial and inconvenience, the person pays no head. And one decides to expose the wrongdoing. One is amazed that how one calls it a matter of perception, a joke! A prank to be played on your peers!

Friend: Exactly that is the insular soul I am talking about!

Her: Such attitudes are in no position to understand, because evidence is what I waited for to expose. And there was a denial of it by creating a counter narrative. They hide behind it and defend themselves through it. They convince those around them how it was not their intention. But the saddest part is some are convinced, mostly those who shouldn’t be.

Friend: False propaganda? Proactively manufacturing consent. That’s quite dangerous.

Her: Exactly! Consent not of the oppressed or aggrieved but of those that we call society. Remember ‘Witch Hunting and Burning’!

Friend: Then it boils down to a battle of speed and volume. A question of who’s faster and louder. An ugly battle indeed! I was just reading about it today in French History as well. These incidences have just taken a new form. The underlying mindset remains similar. Sad!

Her: History repeats itself every day for those who want to see. It is here one becomes helpless or at least feels so.

Friend: I think to fight it we need to be unflinchingly resolved and sensitive (which is a hard combo to reach) because it is an issue that becomes controversial instantly. The tight rope needs to be walked..

Her: I think I managed it well somewhere. I will give myself that credit but what saddens me is the attitude of those who become the encouragement. Knowingly or unknowingly!

Friend: Awesome! But you need to make what you just called ‘society’ walk on it…that’s damn difficult.

Her: I tried to not let it become a controversy. I didn’t let people accuse me of that it was mere figments of my imagination. But that doesn’t mean I solved it at personal level. I didn’t want to let it lose on the discretion of the perpetrators either. I tried passing on a message to those fears that hide behind the mask dominance

Friend: That’s the best you can do these days actually…in these quarantined days.."

We tend to believe our own perceived realities. We tend to trust our own biases and discard the suddenness of stories that may reveal certain truths because it is easy to discard and difficult to challenge the stability and inertia. Some would question ‘should we then question everything that comes our way?’ I say why not? If we stop questioning it will end our very growth. The truth makes us uncomfortable because we lose our space and make ourselves vulnerable. But for once let’s shed the veils, let’s stop sweeping all matters under the carpet, let’s try making this world less unjust to those who are historically marginalized, because we never know, tomorrow we may be at the receiving end. And we will have the same grievances that she has.

So does that mean a person raising her voice needs sympathy or empathy of those mute spectators? Perhaps she laughs and takes pity at those who shamelessly carry on with their everyday behaviours. We need to understand that it is not she who loses in the end; it is rather a failure of each one of us, all of us collectively to let our society rot to its conclusive end. Seen ‘Joker’? The Academy Award winning movie- in the dystopian drama the protagonist questions “why can’t everyone just be nice to everyone?” I wish there was an easy answer to that.